Coming home a different Manny

So much has happened since last September when I made Madrid my new home. As I look at the world differently now, physically and literally, so much has changed.  My friends have scattered all around the world; my best friend got married, and I was his best man; my sister set a date for her wedding this summer; I’ve gotten used to a different language and a different culture; and the most difficult change to overcome has been trying to move on from losing the biggest influence in my life — my mentor —  the man I used to talk to and seek weekly advice from, the man who used to call me his best friend — my Dad.

And because of all this, I think the biggest change of all has been me. I am not at all the man I used to be. For better, not for worse.

I’ve always been a person who has carried his emotions on his sleeves, and a person who has never been scared to speak his mind. My best friends know me probably too well; but about a year has passed, and I’ve changed a lot, and I’m not sure if my friends — except for maybe one who visited me in Madrid this year — really knows who I am anymore. So allow me to introduce myself.

First of all, I’ve gotten used to being called Manny. That’s how I introduce myself here. I’m not sure why, but I do. It just feels right. It is my given name, after all, and a name my Grandpa and  Dad both had. Both must be smiling from heaven every time they hear me being called Manny, and I couldn’t be prouder to share their name.

Next, I have long hair, get over it. Nobody hear has ever told me to cut my hair here (my barber has longer hair than I do), and I’d like the same respect at home. Don’t hate because while you’re thinning, I’m growing a Mexi-fro.

One of the worst aspects of America, I think, is that people move too fast, stress too much. Including myself, when I was living there. But now…I’m more tranquilo (calm). Spain has made me that way, and I will continue to live this slower, more enjoyable lifestyle when I eventually return. I think everyone could be a little more tranquilo. It seems so many little things irritate us, or make us stressed, and we are always in a rush, everywhere we go. Why else do we collect so many speeding/parking tickets? And even when we are where we want to be, there’s always talk about what we are doing next, where we are going next. Why is it so hard for Americans to live in the moment? If only we lived in the moment more, we could really live a more fulfilling life. So when I am out with my friends in California, I refuse to rush to get ready, refuse to drink my drink quickly, and refuse to talk about where we’re going next. If we can’t enjoy the present, we can never enjoy the future.

A popular saying in Madrid is “No pasa nada”, which basically means no worries. It’s often used when someone makes a mistake or when something goes “wrong”. It’s a great saying, and a great way to live; because, if you think about it, how big of a deal is it when someone makes a mistake, when we get lost, when you forget something, when you are late to a party? We have to look passed these small problems, because if you live this “No pasa nada” type of lifestyle, like I do, you might be able to see the bigger picture out there — that maybe this “mistake” was no mistake at all, rather a new opportunity for you. But if you spend too much time arguing, fighting, or being angry, you’d never know it. There has been so many times where I’ve been in an uncomfortable situation, but guess what? I’ve made it through all of them, and learned so much not just about the culture here but about myself and my limitations. No pasa nada. It’s all good.

Another thing that I have refused to do here is overspend. And quite honestly, I can’t. I’m on a smaller budget than an American teacher. I didn’t go shopping more than four times this year, and even when I did, I only bought things I needed (dress shirts for a wedding and bachelor party, sweaters and scarfs for the winter, and light t-shirts for the summer), and I made sure that everything I bought was a decent price. My days of buying 50 dollar jeans are over. At the end of the day, it’s really not worth it, and I feel good when I save money. There’s a great feeling that comes with finding clothes that not only you like and look good on you but that you can afford. When it comes to going out, I prefer a more low-key night with good friends now, rather than a superficial night in the club or a bar where you have to pay a cover charge and where you have to pay 6-10 euros for a drink. One of my favorite parts about Madrid is that it’s very typical — and very fun — to buy a bottle of wine, or a few beers, and just drink in a plaza or a park. It’s called a “botellon”, and I do it quite frequently. Not only because it’s cheaper, but because its more fun than going to a bar/club. Plus, this way you can actually hear the people you are hanging out with, and isn’t that the whole point of going out in the first place — to enjoy your company and catch-up with friends? The point of going out should never be to spend a ton of money. Nowhere in the world should a beer cost the same amount, if not more, than what a six-pack costs across the street at the grocery store, like it does in San Francisco or many other cities in America. That’s absurd, and I won’t do it anymore. I find it shocking that people still do. People may call me cheap, I think I’m smart. I’ve worked too hard to throw  my money away.

This next thing might be the most frustrating thing I’ll have to deal with when I go home. Cellphones. Rather, people, who are obsessed with them. I admit I used to be ones of those people. But not now, not ever again. This goes back to the idea of people not being in the moment. If I’m out with a friend, I’m out with a friend. I’m certainly not texting another friend. That’s just plain rude, and a disgusting part of American culture. I can’t tolerate that, and if this happens (which I’m quite sure it will) to me, I don’t know how I’m going to react. Please be aware of how rude you are being. The underlying message there, when you’re on your phone — texting, tweeting, posting, whatever — is that you are not interested in the person you’re with and you’d rather be somewhere else, physically or mentally. I ask you, friends, be aware of what you’re doing and how you’re treating your friends. I promise I will give you the respect of giving you my attention. At this point in my life, I expect the same.

On a lighter note, I really enjoy futbol (soccer) and tennis now, and if it’s on, I’m going to watch it. I like pretty much all other sports too, so I’ll watch your sports too, but if there’s a match on (futbol or tennis), put down the remote please when I’m in the room. Be open-minded; maybe you can grow to like it too. There’s something about non-physical/patient sports that is appealing, and I think it says something about our culture at home when we don’t want to watch anything but violent, aggressive and fast-paced sports. I don’t think it says anything positive.

Another thing that has shaped who I am now — and something I will really miss — is efficient public transportation. In Madrid, it’s never a problem to get anywhere in the city, and for really cheap. Buses run all night, the Metro — which has hundreds of stops — runs until 1:30 in the morning. And you can take both to the airport for 2 euros. In America, that is unheard of. The closest thing we have to a Metro is the BART, and let’s face it Californians, the BART is just inefficient and unreliable; there are too few stops, and the wait time is just too long. And when I land into SFO (which isn’t really in San Francisco), it takes entirely too long to get to where I need to be, and then I have to take a taxi to where I really need to be. It’s going to be very difficult to have to adapt to the public transportation that California has to offer. I’ve grown too accustomed to just sitting back, enjoying the ride, reading, and getting to the exact spot I need to be. So forgive me, everyone, if I seem frustrated when I have to drive anywhere, or if I have to spend way too many minutes looking for somewhere to park, or if I’m in the car with you and I complain about how long the drive is taking. One would think that a state as big as California — or a country as big as the USA — would figure out a better system, but I guess we have bigger issues right now. So anyway, forgive me if I sound upset about having to rely on over-sized cars and overpriced gas to get me where I “need” to be.

I may sound like I don’t like my country anymore, but its quite the opposite. America is where I was born, it’s who I am, and it’s where my family and friends reside, and I miss and love them more than anything. I can’t wait to get back, even if its just for a couple months. And even though Madrid has changed me (for the better), I am still me. I still smile and laugh way more than I frown; I still love to have a good time; I still love being outdoors and with nature; I am still family-oriented (and this includes my closest friends); I still love drinking a beer and devouring dollar dogs stained with ketchup, mustard and Tabasco at an A’s game on dollar night; and I still love the atmosphere of big cities like Vegas and SF. But when I do all these things, and other things, I am a different person, and I refuse to change for anyone anymore. This is what happens when you have a life-changing year, and when you move to a continent that lives a slower lifestyle, so it shouldn’t be surprising to anyone. I just hope every is open to and likes the new me.